Sunday, June 26, 2005
The Halifax Herald Limited
The Canadian PressCraig Merkley and his wife Jan answer reporters' questions following the trial of Merkley's former wife Carline VandenElsen in Stratford, Ont., Oct. 26, 2001. VandenElsen was found not guilty of abduction when she took her children out of the country and evaded authorities for three months.
PATRICIA BROOKS ARENBURGThis is the Stratford, Ont., home Carline VandenElsen shared with her former husband and triplets.
Triplets wanted their mom
Children asked for access to both parents, 2003 videotaped interview reveals
By PATRICIA BROOKS ARENBURG / Staff Reporter
It had been 19 months since the triplets had last visited their mother.
On Sept. 8, 2003, the 10-year-old triplets drove their bikes from their elementary school to see their mother, Carline VandenElsen, who was living in a nearby bungalow in Stratford, Ont.
Their mother was at an appointment, but the visit prompted her husband, Larry Finck, to call the Children's Aid Society.
The children stayed, but just days later, a judge ordered them returned to their father and temporarily barred their mother from all contact.
The triplets, seen sitting around a table at their mother's home in a videotaped interview with a social worker on that Sept. 8, tell him they want to live with their mother.
They say that if they live with their father, Craig Merkley, they're not allowed to see their mother. But if they live with their mother, they say, they've been told they can see their dad any time they want.
"Any problems at Dad's?" the social worker asks.
Yes, they say.
"Like with Jan, our stepmom," Olivia says.
The little girl with the brown hair tucks her long, skinny legs up toward her chest at times during the interview.
Her father had earlier reported that after their mother allegedly abducted the triplets for a few months when they were seven, Olivia was incredibly afraid of being taken again and extremely shaken to visit her mother.
But on the videotape, Olivia, at 10, is quick to answer the social worker's questions and appears angry with her stepmother, Jan Merkley.
Gray, a child with many reported difficulties including aggression and a suicide attempt, appears talkative and outgoing. Their brother Peter is quiet and at one point stares wide-eyed at the camera.
All know they're being videotaped.
Olivia and Gray say their stepmother is mean to them and doesn't let them go play further than their own street.
When asked about their stepmother, Gray begins: "She was the one who . . ."
"If Jan didn't live next door or anything . . ." Olivia interrupts.
"Jan's who told our dad to go to court and get custody," Peter blurts out.
"And if Jan wasn't in our life, our mom and our dad would still be divorced but they'd still be friends," Olivia says.
The four fall silent as Olivia sits back in the wooden chair, folds her arms and looks around.
"She ruined my life," Olivia says.
"You think she ruined your life?" the social worker asks.
"Yes," Olivia says.
Peter rubs his eyes but doesn't say anything.
"We know she hates us," Olivia says.
Hate is a pretty strong word, the social worker says.
"Then she dislikes us," Olivia says with a sneer.
Neither she nor Gray is able to explain why.
But Olivia says: "I want to live with our mom and visit our dad whenever we want."
One of the triplets then explains that their mom and Mr. Finck are going to Supreme Court to get his daughter Chantelle back.
And one of the triplets says: "If we didn't come here, they're going to try to go to the Supreme Court to get us back."
"Our mom is pregnant and if we stayed there (at Dad's), we wouldn't be able to see our little brother," Gray says.
The social worker asks if they're excited about the baby. They light up, talking all at once about their mom's big belly and how fat the baby will be when he's born. The baby, a girl, was born in December 2003 in Halifax.
On the videotape, Olivia and Gray are clear - they want to be with their mother and see their father whenever they want. And that's what Ms. VandenElsen's family and supporters say.
Ms. VandenElsen's friends in Stratford say she always wanted Mr. Merkley to play a role in the children's lives.
Her sister, Maureen Davidson, who supervised Ms. VandenElsen's court-ordered visits with her children while she was awaiting trial for child abduction, says the tapes show what she saw during those times together.
"They can't get enough of her," Ms. Davidson says.
The children would climb over each other to sit in their mother's lap and laugh and play.
"They love their mother and they really do want to be with her," Ms. Davidson says.
But Alfred Mamo, the lawyer representing Mr. Merkley, believes the triplets' wishes are not that easy to determine.
"Given the history of this file, it is very, very difficult to ascertain what the children's true wishes are because the children have been involved in so much and because Ms. VandenElsen has manipulated them so much and put them through so much."
It's only natural for children to want a relationship with both parents, he says.
"They know their father's love for them is unconditional," Mr. Mamo says, adding that "they did enjoy various moments that they had with their mother."
But, he says, "they don't have the maturity to be able to appreciate that some of the things that they were being drawn into were inappropriate and not good for their emotional and psychological health."
Court documents state that when the children were very young, they were often subjected to Ms. VandenElsen's accounts of her court proceedings. Mr. Merkley claims this and other actions on her part caused stress and behavioural problems in the children. She has denied those claims.
Mr. Mamo attributes the children's desire to live with their mother to Ms. VandenElsen and says she offered them no real choice.
"If you put it on the basis to the children that the only way you can have a relationship with both your parents is to be with me, then of course they're going to say, 'Well, then we want to live with you because we want to have a relationship with both parents,' " Mr. Mamo says. "That's really what that tape was about."
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